Long Journey Home
By Stacey Britton | Blog July 28, 2021 | posted November 21, 2021


Bring to me every concern, every failure, every hope, every dream -everything.
Remember, I am your creator and comfort. I am your’s, child. I am your source, without me you are nothing? Even if you don’t acknowledge me I am your source. -Father

I’ve taken many trips of mental thought about how God works in my life. The foundation has always come back to the fact that I am not God, even though I would really like to control things, my life, suffering and so forth. Then I listen to those thoughts and laugh. “As if” I could run the world, create the Universe and imagine the Tucan bird. My view is so small and God is so big.

Even though my base belief is that God exists, I find myself doubting His existence when pain enters my life. I try to take care of my pain instead of letting it go, trusting God, and believing that I am deeply loved, completely forgiven, totally accepted and absolutely complete in God because of Jesus Christ. (The Search for Significance by Robert S McGee)

I know these things, but when I am hurting I don’t always believe or feel these wonderful truths.

I come to the point where I have to

CHOOSE

to believe what I know to be true – in the midst of the messes of life.

Joy comes eventually, trust is reborn, hope emerges and brings life and direction.

SOMETIMES, I just get STUCK, frozen like a deer in headlights. Other times I walk in fear, stand fast during the storm and learn to trust even though I don’t feel like I can even trust my own thoughts.

MAYBE I am the only one that struggles so, when loss, pain, loneliness, isolation and illness enters my life, but then maybe more that I suppose can relate to this raw telling of an inner walk of faith. Maybe.

One thing I do know. No matter how awful life lessons are and how much I do not understand or handle them in the moment…

God loves me, this I know and I am HOME.