I go to the Ocean usually every year, but it has been a couple years since the last time,
the time of THE FOG. As I sat in my car, window down, feeling the gentle misty breeze caressing the side of my face, I didn’t need to close my eyes to ‘just listen’ I was truly sightless. I knew the ocean was there, I could hear it, I could feel it – I just could not SEE it. So I sat and truly rested, walked on the damp beach with the water shrouded in fog, a white type of darkness or separation from what I KNEW was there. I decided to step into the moment and listen.
Listen to the waves, hear the ocean,, feel the breeze on my face. Just BE. I can’t see the sky, I can’t see the ocean waves, but I know they are there. Just BE. I didn’t ask myself where to go or what to do. I just took the moment to BE. Be silent, listen and BE.
I was reminded of this scripture written by a wise man of God.
“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shalll walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
(Bible Old Testament – English Standard Version)
Stacey Britton | Journal Entry | July 26, 2021 | Just BE
I have an ancient Mac laptop, tastefully protected by a light pink protector which matches my light pink desk cover which matches my pink computer mouse AND rose colored metal pencil holders and organizers as well. I was in a ‘pink/rose’ phase. Good grief!
My ancient laptop no longer has the memory or capability to update to the latest Chrome, Google won’t accept her as she is and along with the really cool PINK touchpad fingering cover I indeed need to unplug the ol’ gal and start using what I already have that is a bazillion times ‘way cooler’ than the old lady, my ancient writing friend.
This morning I unplugged the power block, rolled up the cord, placed the pink covered Mac back inside the pink fabric carry case – but I haven’t zipped it shut – yet. You see, there are many files on that computer and even though I can’t really access the document forms I need, nor the quick access guides for help, part of me is still in my computer partner.
I unplugged her and I plugged in my new writing partner, it’s not the same, it’s different, upgraded, faster, ‘way more’ memory, the touch of the keypads are even amazingly a perfect fit for my hands. In so many ways the upgrade is better. I’m the one that needs to plug into the new and just stay there-in the here ad now! To begin to dwell in the new and llet the old keep it’s perfect place in the past and move on not held back by the past. Unplug.
Unplugging for me means learning new ways to accomplish new tasks with the foundation of the old being informed by the new formats and styles. Building upon a firm foundation and embracing the new, fast growing creativity found in the virtual world. Unplugging doesn’t mean I throw away was has gone before it means I embrace it’s wisdom and literally plug in the new computer iPad given to me by someone that knew I really needed it, even though I received the gift with great joy, even though I said I would use it – it took the passing of my OLD writing friend becoming totally outdated to help me, force me, to unplug the old and plug in the new.
Honestly, I’m wondering why it has taken me so long to transition and to believe the new way would be better and more enjoyable, as well as put in a new learning curve to challenge me in the process – something I also didn’t realize I DID need.
The world of tech is crazy fast, ever changing, and quite frankly a bit intimidating when you are a bit behind in updates (too many to report the number.) It takes time to update, upgrade, stay updated and stay upgraded – a daily habit (maybe weekly) – and one that if you get behind, the ‘behinder’ you get when you stay plugged into the OLD instead of embracing the NEW. 😉
What’s Important? Knowing Jesus. You might be rolling your eyes at this point, I get that. You might want to click escape and erase these sentences from your mind. But they will stick, because Jesus gently calls, consistently calls and guides us whether we like it, want it or think we need it 🙂 He is LOVE, love calls to the dark parts, the holes deep within that we try to fill with so many other things.
What’s important? Who’s important this Christmas? Might be a better question.
I’ve been in survival mode for awhile now, healing really, becoming, reclaiming what I thought was lost and realizing it wasn’t really lost at all. I was in a ‘pause’ mode for a year. A year of solitude and literal silence.
A year ago, last Christmas I was in the grips of a deep, survival struggle.
I began this 50newbeginnings site in December 2013. Ten years to date, writing each year, adding pages and stories, chapter books in edit form, sharing my life with a world I did not know and may never know. You might be reading this thinking – where is she going with this post? Hang in there with me!
December 2013 I held my breath and began this website journey with a Christmas snap shot of my family’s traditions and moments of sacred community. Last year, the ninth year, I was silent, I was silent for more months than I would like to admit. Not only in writing but also in communicating, strengths and freedoms had become difficult and physically painful. My life stripped down to the daily check off list so I would and could remember what I had accomplished. Hours segmented and ordered with repetition to rebuild the synapses connecting thoughts and motions in my brain that had been changed. I was rebuilding, or maybe just building.
This Christmas 2023 I begin again the journey of sharing and being known through words and thoughts.
Today I choose to share a message of HOPE for all of you reading this today – what ever day it is. The bottom line? Don’t give up!
Healing comes in surprise packages and sometimes in ways we do not see nor do we recognize. I’m learning another name for healing is growth. Like a plant when it is pruned and shaped by a Master Gardner, so I too, am shaped each day by my Maker, the God and only creator of the Universe, his son Jesus, guides my path – through the thick and thin of life – through times of change and drastic ‘make-overs’ not unlike the type accomplished at a SPA 🙂 and similar in purpose. A pause, a buffing, moisturizing applied to dry spots, steaming out the impurities of the flesh and renewing with moments of rest whether by message, quiet meditation or listening to music. My soul needed a re-set just as the break provided at said SPA experiences.
I’m not the person I was a year ago, or even yesterday, that is healthy!
It is as it is supposed to be, growing, and expanding, learning from mistakes. Each day becomes a battle for me even yet, life is not easy, nor should it be. Struggles build us, mold us, teach us what we need to know.
Who we need to know.
Why we need to know.
Jesus is the way the truth and the life, waiting for you, calling you to come.
Hear His voice calling you to come, receive His love purchased by dying on a cross to take all the guilt and sin in your life upon Himself, to make the way clear to Himself. No barriers, no need to do a better job, no need to try to be perfect in your own strength but become excellent receivers of HIS strength, HIS power, HIS joy – receiving and giving hope in the deepest, darkest pit of separation from the Living God, the one who created you, the one who calls you with the HOPE of eternal life of peace, no suffering, no more crying no more pain. In this world we will have all of those things, but Jesus showed us the way. God becoming human, knowing and experiencing life outside of heaven. Jesus stands in heaven now, beside the Father God, reminding God the Father of the price HE paid, to cover and cleanse our souls so we could
Know WHO is important this Christmas. Jesus.
He came to His own people and His own people rejected Him, but to anyone – anyone – who believes in His name, that He is the Son of the Living God, to this person He will give eternal life.
don’t miss the WHY of Christmas -learning of the one who loves you
don’t miss the WHAT of Christmas-the fact that Jesus is your ticket to eternal living life abundantly
don’t miss the WHO of Christmas – Jesus
In the Bible, different versions use language that describes and tells the story – Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, found in the middle of the collection of stories are a great place to start, they told His story – THE Story of Jesus, come to earth for YOU and ME. The other books point to Jesus’ coming and how God tried for so many centuries to love a people that did not understand Him, Jesus came so we could SEE the Father God’s love for us.
For God so loved the world that he gave is only son, Jesus, that whoever believes in Him will not die to an eternal place of separation from God, but that they would have eternal life WITH God – beginning NOW with the step of belief. (John 3:16 in The Bible)
What’s Important THIS Christmas? Knowing that Jesus is waiting just for you, completely seeing and hearing your cries for something more in this life here on earth and offering so much more beyond what we see and hear. Believe. Receive His love. Read His story in the Bible.
There are things that happen, or things that are said that it is a wonderful new skill to actually not remember!!!
Not be responsible to be the ‘brain of the household’ knowing where all items are located at all times, for all purposes.
Not the ‘housewife’ just a wife that lives in a house. – there IS a difference folks!
Not to be the encyclopedia of answers or know all the conversations that happen within the space of an evening – IF the TV is running non-stop in the background.
AND
Not being able to cook, carry on two conversations, make sure the cat is fed and has water, while the TV is playing my favorite movie – well folks my brain has a dickens of a time switching from one thing to another quickly, well actually switching at all from one thing to another – no go friend :(. So…no go on doing more than one thing at a time! Multi-tasking? Huh? Nope? Ain’t happening! 🙂
Then… that still, tiny, worry voice crops up from the bottom of my heart and says, “Stacey, will you ever be able to be ‘you’ again?” Answer: NO
TRUTH: No one person is the same from day to day.
I have just gone from my zany self to a very simple, one track minded person, and even then the one track gets easily de-railed. “Choo Choo, I think I can” story = comes to mind and off I go on another train of mind – literally (good grief:).
I smile at myself. And giggle. Then silence, my mind goes blank and nothing brings back what was supposed to come next – even if I rest – it is just gone, lost, and now I think that is probably a good thing?
In all this… I find the grace that is needed, from the source that is perfect and full of everything I need. The source of all things, the creator, the redeemer and my friend = Jesus. (Bible)
It’s a good place to be right now… Healing from a head trauma 🙂 Stacey
By Stacey Britton |April 29, 2020 Journal Entry | Blog Trying not to Hurt Trying NOT to Hurt
I’m trying not to hurt, but sometimes everything connects in the perfect storm of emotion and I am sapped of life. Usually it does not last long, once I figure out what cut open the formerly healed place in my heart.
This time?
I had several points of dagger entry and I was overwhelmed, I shut down my emotions unless I was alone where I could cry out to God for help, or just to ask Him to help me walk through whatever caused such damage.
Other times, like this time, I’m still angry – because I see the patterns, over and over again AND I am still silent. My voice does not shout out what I see, silence has become a habit.
Recently I did speak up, twice, and because my strong voice is basically never heard, when I finally spoke it sounded like a shout. My trickling waterfall became a raging storm of water, it did not seem to be my voice at all. What they did not know?
The raging storm of water is my inner voice.
I’m still learning how to speak, to keep my own wants and wishes out of the equation and literally lean into Father for the very words I do speak out loud, my very breath and thought, pulling all of those gifts, to speak, to hear, to listen, to be in sync with my Heavenly Father that the double edged sword that He has me speak goes in cleanly and brings healing.
This is not the healing that I thought I was praying for…
To listen deeply to another soul, while you are listening to Abba and asking Abba how to respond – this is a walk of healing, side beside someone. To allow Abba to fill you with a love not your own and obediently give as Abba asks, this too is a healing. Healing the poverty, loving the lowly, caring for those you may never know.
But God Knows. God Sees. God Hears. God Heals.
I am to pray for the give of healing, what I walk I would never have called a healing gift. But it is the deep inner healing of loving another with no expectation of return.
Jesus died on the cross to save our souls, He loves us and gave up everything. He healed us of the broken relationship between us and our creator.
Healing sight, hearing, diseases, this is what I thought Abba meant, that I was to grow strong faith to perform these miracles. But instead He took me on a journey to see what He sees, to acknowledge that relationship with God and others IS the great healing. I am not to judge how He wants me to follow Him,
I am to follow. Come and Follow Me, He said so long ago – and still today He says Come.
the very first day of my 55th year was, wild, fun, silly, surprising and humbling all wrapped up in one a ‘day’ box!
i woke up with the stressed out realization that I forgot to renew my driver’s license- a first time offense! Three hours later, job done!!
the ‘stack’ of books came next, along with ‘just a little something’ both statements were amazingly understated. I picked up so many precious books and a birthday gift and other items that began to help me understand words that had been spoken.
speechless, blessed, overcome with thoughtfulness was my first day of 55
